Living with fibromyalgia, chronic pain, ADHD tendencies and the demands of motherhood can feel overwhelming. As a Colchester and Wickford based osteopath at Alleviate Holistics, I spend my days helping others manage their wellbeing, but like many women, I also struggle to balance work, family life and self-care. This is my honest experience of learning to slow down and prioritise what really matters.
Trying to survive each day can be hard.
Deciding what to do in that spare hour of time is always a difficult choice. Do I clean the house or do the food shop? Take a nap and rest, or exercise for self-care? Advertise the business or study for work?
Often, my head spins with so many options that I get stuck in a state of paralysis and end up doing nothing at all, while simultaneously panicking and feeling guilty that I should be doing something.
I am learning the hard way that we can’t do everything. Teetering on the edge of mental and physical burnout is making me realise that I need to change something before my body forces me to.
So, this is how I am changing my routine to help me manage what so many women are dealing with every day. I hope it helps some of you who are in the same situation.
I am trying to focus on one day at a time, rather than looking at the whole week or month as I used to. Instead of worrying about everything at once, I am focusing on what needs to be done today.
I am also trying NOT to schedule every minute of the day, except for work appointments, of course. Instead, I set broad goals for what I would like to achieve.
For example:
Go to work as an Osteopath at the allotted time for that day, either in Colchester or Wickford. Even if I don’t have physical patients booked in, I can use that time to advertise, complete admin tasks, or do some studying.
One hour of self-care (at a bare minimum). This could be at any point in the day and might be a nap, a soak in the bath, playing Xbox, or doing some crafts. The important thing is making time to breathe and switch off.
One main household task, such as shopping, washing, hoovering, or tidying. I am trying not to feel like I have to do every household job in one day or that everything has to be spotless all the time. Let’s be honest, with a child, it’ll be a mess again five minutes later anyway!
The most important task of all: looking after my son and keeping him happy, healthy, and alive
If I manage anything beyond those basics, then that’s a bonus.
By making these small changes, I’m finding it easier to manage my expectations and reduce the unnecessary pressure I put on myself to do everything.
A few other small changes I have made include:
Cooking extra dinner the night before, so I don’t have to think about lunch the next day.
Doing a few stretches before bed and massaging any particularly achy areas to relieve minor niggles and get rid of any pent-up energy.
Booking a regular osteopathy or massage appointment each month helps me stay on top of my aches, pains, fibromyalgia symptoms, or sports injuries before they become unmanageable.
Sharing the mental load with my partner by using a shared calendar, so I don’t have to remember every little thing.
Although I have made these changes, I am still adapting to life, and yes, there are days when it all falls apart.
Sometimes my sister, Savannah, has to snap me out of a downward spiral, or she’ll reach for one of her fancy Ayurvedic remedies, which somehow always seem to work!
My favourite remedy when I feel overwhelmed is castor oil massaged into my feet to help me feel grounded, along with a cup of chamomile and rose petal tea.
This all goes to show that we can keep trying to do it all and feel like we’re failing, or we can adapt, do a little less, and still be proud of what we’ve achieved each day.
Sometimes surviving the day is enough. And that’s okay.
